John Lloyd is THE Man!!!

John Lloyd Cruz.

There's no denying he's the epitome of a "Tunay na Lalake." A "Real Man," for those who can't understand Filipino.

This guy!

Because of him, the phrase "Trabaho lang" was once again popular within the male community. Like everything he does is not for his family or anyone else. Just work. No personal feelings. Whatsoever.

And with the recent rumors surrounding him, man, talk about solidifying his status. Or hardening.

I know we're a little bit behind on the news here because this came to the public's attention like last week pa, forgive us for the delay in news. Di kaagad kami nakahugot ng magandang masusulat eh. Sorry. Well read on


Well... Everyone must have heard the rumors about two popular young celebrities who were rushed into a hospital because the guy couldn't, well, get his thing from within her thing.

Doesn't ring a bell? How about, "unsheathe his weapon from her scabbard..." (too nerdy duuude)

Still nothing? Get his hotdog out of her sandwich...

Guess it really was tender but less juicy.

 If you still don't get it, you better just smash your head with a very hard object. Apparently, our epitome of manliness is the subject of this rumor, together with his rumored girlfriend, Shaina Magdayao. Now I can go on all day mentioning metaphors about what happened, but perhaps a better alternative would be to use what the couple's management, Star Magic refer to it: penis captivus.

I Googled Penis Captivus and the Lady Gaga SEX DOLL SHOWED UP.

I'm not saying the the rumor is true. But if it is, then we can probably derive a couple of things from it:

1. The girl couldn't get enough of the guy so she mistakenly caused her thing to not let go of his thing, or;
2. The guy has a massive tool.
3. They don't believe in the withdrawal method.
4. or all of the above.

Whatever the reasons may be, you'd still look like this.

I don't know about you but man should you really deny such an event if it ever happens to you? Shouldn't you be like, extremely proud and high-five-ing everyone as they help you onto a stretcher and towards the hospital?

Super HIGH FIVE! APIR!!!

Well Googling the phrase "John Lloyd Cruz - Shaina Magdayao Scandal" gives you THIS WEBSITE which says that this particular rumor is a hoax. But a lot of people, nurses in particular (I'm not saying people from the hospital itself) says that the rumor is true.

This nurse told me that that website was bullcrap.

By the way, how awkward that must have been for everyone. What do you say to the people who will help you? The people in the hospital? And as for the medics, what do you say to the couple stuck in such a predicament?

Ahhh. I see.

Well whatever our opinions are, this rumor just further solidifies the fact that Lloydie is one helluva man. Seriously, if given the choice, would you rather be stuck in someone's vajay while a whole country talks about it or in the tunnels in Chile?

I now know why you're smiling.