I feel ummm, weak?

So we were walking in the mall yesterday and I saw something that reduced or maybe overpowered is the term(?), I saw a poster and a small tv screen showing a trailer that metaphorically grabbed my manliness, punched it repeatedly while shooting it with a grenade launcher and then spat and laughed at it in the process. Yep, that kind of overpowering ka-macho-han. I'm talking about this people:

HOLY MOTHER OF ALL ACTION STARS.

See that? Can you even comprehend how much testosterone seeps out of that poster? I'm guessing they made this poster using the bloods of all the hoodlums and goons they've killed in all of their movies. You know even Rambo alone could've done that, but combine him with John McClane, and the Transporter, and Jet Li?!?! If that poster didn't do you in, I'm saying this trailer will:



Holy eff... if you still want to feel more manly (or less manly, depends on how you take it) than ever, then read on

So you continued. The question now regarding this movie, will it be great? How bout the story? Maganda ba? The best? The acting? The moral of the story? How bout its message to society?

That guy trying to over-analyze our film. See him?

Ha! As if those mattered! When you see a poster composed of at least 75% muscle and popping veins and 80% guns and explosive devices, you kinda throw the story out of the window. The acting can follow as much as he pleases. You're there to witness ass-kicking, explosions and generic villain killing. If you want an Oscar worthy action film go watch the A-Team or something.

Action stars?! Really?

I mean seriously, the A-Team? Compare them to those above. And wasn't the A-Team's movie full of computer animated scenes? Who needs those when you've got pure muscle in your cast?!

Oh, trivia just to show you how badass the cast of The Expendables is, one of them, Ivan Drago or Dolph Lundgren's (both works) home was once broken into by three masked robbers. They even tied up his wife in the process! Imagine how much control they've got... but they stopped. Why? Because they saw a family picture and SAW THAT LUNDGREN OWNS THE HOUSE.

Holy fuck! RUUUNNN!!!!!

How I miss the good old action movies and action heroes. Even the local ones. Makes you wish for a local action movie with an ensemble cast. Maybe throw in Robin Padilla in there together with Lito Lapid, Ace Vergel, Bong Revilla, Joko Diaz, Ian Veneracion, Mark-SAGING LANG ANG MAY PUSO-Lapid and even Mikey Arroyo! Hell add Paquito Diaz, Jorge Estregan and all the villains in there. Cmon now Star Cinema! Viva Films! Seiko Films! Make this happen!

I can practically hear gunfire behind that poster